Not So Much Fun In A Closet
Not So Much Fun in a Closet

(the common room is empty except for lauren, trowa and wu-fei. they all look bored)

Wu-fei: "Who would wanna go to a stupid pilot fashion convention?" *pouts*

Lauren: "Well Jackie and Quatre wanted to go, so they dragged Duo and Michelle and Duo dragged Heero. I told Heero no way in hell was I goin'."

Wu-fei: "I didn't wanna hear your life story, whore."

Lauren: *narrows eyes* "Go to hell."

Trowa: *sighs* "Today seems like a good day to kill myself."

Lauren: "No, Trowa!" *sighs* "Let's do something fun."

Wu-fei: "Let's kill you."

Lauren: "Ha ha." *thinks* "I know! Let's play a board game!"

Wu-fei: "A board game?! How old are you?! Ten?!"

Lauren: "Older than you. Come on, Trowa. There are some in the supply closet." *she and trowa leave*

Wu-fei: *getting up and hurrying after them* "Hey, don't ditch me, woman!"

(Lauren opens the closet. it's really dark and she can't see anything. all three of them get in the closet.)

Trowa: "Darkness...."

Lauren: "I don't see anything...did Duo clean it out?"

Wu-fei: "Whoops." *door slams shut*

Trowa: "Huh?"

Lauren: "Wu-fei, open the door!"

Wu-fei: *tries the handle* "I can't."

Lauren: "Ha ha, Wu-fei. Open the door!"

Wu-fei: *tries again* "I'm serious! It's locked or stuck or something!"

Lauren: *rushes over to the door* "You stupid moron!" *tries the handle* "Fuck! Moron! We're stuck!"

Trowa: *shaking* "I don't like the dark...."

Wu-fei: "This is your fault, crack whore! If you had never wanted to play a lame ass board game...."

Lauren: "Well if you hadn't complained about how bored you were for ten minutes straight, I never would have suggested it!"

Trowa: *still shaking* "Darkness...."

Lauren: *embraces trowa* "It's okay, Trowa."

Wu-fei: "Yeah. The others will let us out when they get back...." *pause* "Hey, whore. When they gettin' back?"

Lauren: *swallows* "It's a 2 day convention...."

Wu-fei: *jaw drops* "You mean we're stuck in this closet the rest of today and most of tomorrow!"

Lauren: "Yeah...."

Trowa: "Oh no..."

Wu-fei: "NATAKU!!!!"
~~~~~

(later...)

Lauren: "Let's think of a way to pass the time."

Wu-fei" "Let's have a threesome!"

Lauren: *sighs* "Been there, done that. Besides, I would never do anything remotely sexual with you, Wu-fei."

Wu-fei: "Stupid whore." *pause* "I'll pay you!"

Lauren: "No! I have Heero. I don't want to even think about doing you."

Wu-fei: *mumbles* "Ugly battle axe."

Trowa: "You can kill me."

Wu-fei: "Nah. Then we'd still be stuck in here with your body."

Lauren: "Wu-fei!" *holds trowa* "What's the matter, Trowa? Why do you always want to kill yourself?"

Trowa: "....it has to do with my Mysterious and Tragic past."

Lauren: "What happened, Trowa?"

Trowa: "If I told you it wouldn't be mysterious."

Lauren: "Please? Sometimes it's best to get bad things off your chest."

Trowa: "Are you sure you want to hear it?"

Wu-fei: "No."

Lauren: "Shut up, Wu-fei. Go ahead, Trowa."

~~

(awhile later....trowa's hugging lauren, sobbing into her shoulder. wu-fei watches from across their room, rolling his eyes)

Lauren: *patting him on the back* "It's okay, Trowa. That's all in the past. It's okay. We're your friends. We won't let anything bad happen to you ever again."

Wu-fei: "We? Speak for yourself."

Lauren: "Shut up, Wu-fei. Trowa's had a difficult life."

Wu-fei: "Big deal. My wife died right in my arms."

Lauren: "Lucky for her then."

Wu-fei: *looks really hurt* "You suck."

Lauren: *hears she hurt wu-fei's feelings* "Wu-fei....I'm sorry."

Wu-fei: "No you're not."

Lauren: *sincerely* "I am. Really. I shouldn't have said that. I apoligize."

Wu-fei: *softly* "Apology accepted......whore."

Trowa: *wipes away his tears* "I feel better now."

Lauren: "I told you you would!"

Trowa: "Thanks, Lauren."

Lauren: "Anytime, Trowa."

Wu-fei: "Aw. How cute. Excuse me while I throw up."

Lauren: *sighs* "Wu-fei, can you be a decent human being for five minutes?"

Wu-fei: "Shut up, woman!"
~~

(later...."

Wu-fei: *sighs* "I'm still up for that threesome...."

Trowa: "Again with that?"

Lauren: "You two go on ahead without me."

Wu-fei: "Very funny."

Trowa: *sighs* "Maybe we should have gone to the convention."

Lauren: "Nah...."

Wu-fei: "Nah. I'd rahter be stuck in here with you losers."

Lauren: "Well you know, this has proved to be a great bonding experience."

Wu-fei: *snorts* "Oh please."

Lauren: "Hey, I'm trying to make an effort here, Wu-fei. Maybe if you weren't such a bratty, perverted prick people would like you!"

Wu-fei: "Shut up, bitch! You still owe me porn!"

Lauren: *throws her hands in the air* "What do you want me to do about that in the middle of the closet?"

Wu-fei: *shrugs* "Just strip."

Lauren: *disgusted* "Ugh! In your dreams!"

Wu-fei: *yawns* "I think I'll take your up on that." *lays down and goes to sleep*

Lauren: "Grrrrrr....I really hate him."

Trowa: "I don't understand why he hates you so much."

Lauren: *shrugs* "I don't even care. I don't need his friendship."

Trowa: "Right....after all, you have Heero....and me. I'm your friend."

Lauren: *looks at him in surprise* "Really, Trowa?" *smiles* "Thanks."

Trowa: "No. Thank you."

~~~

(the next morning. wu-fei's asleep and snoring loudly. lauren and trowa are asleep too, leaning on each other. the others voices can be heard)

Duo: "That was boring!"

Jackie: "Hey! I got a lot of good ideas!"

Quatre: "There were many beautiful uniforms there."

Michelle: *twitches* "Stop it!"

Heero: "Where's Lauren?"

Jackie: "And Trowa?"

Michelle: "And jackass." *everyone looks at her* "I mean Wu-fei."

Duo: "I'm gonna shove these uniforms in that closet I cleaned out." *goes over to it* "Hm. Why's it locked?" *shrugs and opens it* "Hey! What the hell happened here?"

Lauren: *wakes up, rubbing her eyes* "Huh? Oh hi, Duo."

Wu-fei: *wakes up* "Oh. The rest of the losers are back."

Heero: *comes over* "Lauren! What are you doing in this closet with Trowa and Wu-fei?!"

Wu-fei: *grins* "We bonded."

Heero: *gasps*

Lauren: *quickly* "Not like that!"

Trowa: "We were looking for a board game and got locked in."

Lauren: "We're sure glad to see you guys."

Heero: *frowns* "Hmmmm...."

Duo: "A board game?"

Lauren: "Shut up! We were really bored!"

Jackie: "I know! Let's play monopoly!"

Trowa: "I want the puppy!"

Wu-fei: "I get the ship!"

Lauren: "I'm the shoe so I can kick Wu-fei's ass." *grins*

Wu-fei: *glares* "Shut up, woman!"

The End