Shell and Lauren entered the school building wearily.  It was yet another school year.

 “At least I’m an upper classman now,” she sighed.

 Lauren smirked. “Don’t look at me. I graduated. I’m just visiting you losers!”

 Shell sighed. “Shut up. So are you going around with me?” she asked, avoiding the preps, druggies, goths, and jocks that made up the pot smoke filled halls of the science hallway.

 Lauren shrugged. “I’m not going to math with you!” she said in horror. “I’ll tag onto someone else that period.”

 “Whatever,” she replied. A freshman in front of her suddenly dropped a stack of books. She stepped onto an earth science text book and went stumbling forward into a locker. “Ack!”

 Lauren laughed.

  She rubbed her forehead. “That’s gonna leave a mark!” She turned angrily and tapped the extremely short kid on the shoulder. “Hey, freshman! Let me give you some friendly advice- books go in a bookbag!”

 The blonde boy (who was quite cute, although she would never mention that) smiled cheerily. “I’m not a freshman! I’m a sophomore! I’m Quatre! Quatre Raberba Winner!”

 Lauren grinned and whispered. “How come the hotties arrive after I graduate?”

  Shell nudged her. “Shut up.” She shot ‘Quatre’ another nasty look before heading to her locker. She only had ten minutes before Spanish.

 She headed into her first period class which was photography. Art ruled!

 There was a strange kid she had never seen before huddled over a sketch book. Jackie, being a slut, went over to flirt.

 “Hey!” she said with a cheery grin. “Are you new here?”

 The kid (who’s hair defied gravity) frowned. “Do I know you?”

 Jackie frowned. “No…are you new here?”

 “Where am I?” he asked.

 “  High school, also known to the students as village of the damned.” she laughed nervously. She extended her hand. “I’m Jackie. What’s your name?”

 He sighed. “I have no name. But you can call me Trowa. Trowa Barton.”

 “Well, great to meet you Trowa,” She answered uneasily. She headed to her desk.

How come all the hotties had to be crazy?

She headed to global where she stopped dead in her tracks. Was that babe for real?

 The blonde boy was standing in front of the class. “Hi everyone! I’d just like to introduce myself!”

 The class continued to talk amongst themselves.

 “I’m Quatre. Quatre Raberba Winner. I’m new here, and I’m very happy to be here in your beautiful school! It’s so beautiful!”

 “Sit down, fruit!” someone called.

 Quatre frowned. “What? Anyway, thanks for listening! I look forwarding to meeting all of you!”

 Michelle grinned, batting her eyelashes. Being a sophomore rocked! “You can sit next to me,” she offered.

 Quatre smiled and took the offered seat. “Thank you. I’m Quatre, Quatre Raberba Winner.”

 Michelle nodded eagerly. “I know! Where are you from?”

 Quatre ignored the question. “You’re beautiful. You’re so beautiful. Do you know how beautiful you are?”

 Michelle raised her eyebrows. “You’re not so bad yourself.”

 She was going to enjoy global this year.

 “Does the four stand for how many brain cells you have? We all know what class we’re in!”

 Shell turned in surprise to see where the nasty voice had come from.

 Ms Hola frowned. “And you are?”

 The handsome boy smiled. “Chang WuFei. I rock.”

 Lauren rolled her eyes. “He’s wearing puffy white pants and telling everyone he rocks. Now that’s confidence.”

 “Are you new here, Chang?” Ms Hola asked.

 “It’s WuFei,” he replied cockily. “And yes, I’m new. But I probably won’t be here long because I have to go save lives from evil soulless machines.”

 “And what machines are those?” Lauren snapped back. “Calculators?”

 “Shut up! They’re called mobile dolls!”

 “Dolls?” Lauren cried in disbelief. “Are you afraid of Barbie, WuFei?”

 “Bite me!” he called back.

 Shell whispered to Lauren, “Hey, he’s kinda hot. Back off.”

 “Are you kidding? Look at the pants,” she whispered back.

 “That’s all very interesting, WuFei,” Ms Hola interrupted. “But from now on en espanol, si?”

 “Does anyone know how to say ‘I rock’ en espanol?” Wufei snapped.

 Shell giggled.

 Lauren nudged her.

 The year didn’t look so dull after all.

 “Good morning class,” he said in a husky voice. “I’m Treize Kushranada. You may call me Mr. Kushrenada.”

 Mr. What? Jackie thought to herself.

 “This is a class about the art of photography. Photography is an integrate subject with many complex junctures. Many have thought that art is similar to war in it’s violent and colorful conjectures in portraying our world. Art is an outlet and it allows us to see the blackness of our souls and heal our sins, we can only achieve peace through true art. War is bad, like art, but it is necessary for peace, like art. Photography is similar to this because we can see our true selves, only ten pounds heavier, in our true light. Photography is honest, unlike human nature, and like little kids crossing streets and falling off cliffs. Only when we let our children fall off cliffs can we understand photography. Photography is like Duke Dermaol, only it sucks less. The Gundams are our friends, but we must kill them to achieve peace. We may see our deaths in Epyon, but that is only photography as well. J. C Penny is better than Macy’s in an artistic and entirely peaceful way, I could go for some pizza…that’s art too….”

 “What?” Jackie asked out loud. She turned to Trowa. “What’s he saying?”

 “Makes sense to me,” Trowa shrugged.

 Jackie decided to tune him out. He was way hotter when he wasn’t talking.

 Quatre smiled, despite the dozen spit balls colliding with his head. “Quit it, guys,” he said sheepishly.

 “Ignore them,” Michelle told him. “Tell me more about your yacht.”

 “Oh, Michelle, money doesn’t matter. We must concentrate on peace and goodness. Money is trivial.”

 “But you do have a yacht?” Michelle pressed. “Are those pants Armani?”

 Quatre frowned. “Yes….”

 “Who knows when the French Revolution began?” Mr. Jones asked.

 Quatre raised his hand. “1789.”

 “Very good, Quatre!”

 An eraser flew forward and hit Quatre in the eye.

 “Ow! Hey…,” he cried, holding his eye.

 “Can someone escort Quatre to the nurse?” Mr. Jones asked.

 “I will!” Michelle cried, grabbing Quatre by the arm and hurrying him out the door.

 “You blow!” she growled back.

 “Bite me!” he hissed.

 “You can keep your diseases, thanks!” Lauren replied cockily.

 “Um…guys…we’re in class,” Shell tried feebly.

 “You’re a no-talent loser,” he countered.

 “You’re an arrogant, hideous prick with delusions of grandeur!” she snapped. “Go back to playing dungeons and dragons, geek!”
 WuFei frowned, speechless. “That was a good one.”

 Lauren arched her eyebrows. “Thanks.”

 “You’re pretty good for a skanky hoe,” he allowed.

 “Hmph. You’re not so bad yourself for a hollow- headed jackie chan wannabe.”

 He whispered, “Wanna ditch this class?”

 Lauren shrugged. “Okay.”

 They left.

 Shell put her head in her hands. She was never bringing her sister back to high school.

 “Because she’s evil.” Michelle whispered back.

 “What’s her name?” Quatre replied.

 “Nobody knows. We think it’s Ms Viola Swamp,” Michelle answered.

 Quatre frowned. “Wasn’t that the evil teacher in ‘Ms Nelson is missing’? Come on, Michelle, I’m sure she’s not really evil.” He approached her. “Hi, I’m Quatre Raberba Winner. And you are…?”

 “Nurse Kidkill. Can I help you?” she asked wearily.

 “Ms what?”

 “Kidkill!” she snapped. “What’s your problem?”

 “My eye.”

 “Is it missing?”

 “No….”

 “Is it gushing blood?”

 “Well, it’s not gushing….”

 “Go back to class,” she replied. “I have to listen to this radio and see if it’s my turn to eat the babies in the maternity ward.”

 “What!?” he asked in horror.

 She sighed. “Go lay down on one of those diseased cots we never wash until you feel up to leaving,” she snapped.

 “Never mind. I think I’ll go back to class…,” Quatre replied, trying to stop the bleeding. “I feel much better.”

 “I wish I could die…” he muttered.

 “What?” Jackie asked. “Oh, I know, this class is boring,” she replied, misinterpreting his statement.

 “No, seriously. Do you have anything pointy? I brought some razors to school but my guidance counselor took them away.” He sighed. “Do you think pastels are toxic?”

 Jackie shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe.” she paused. “Is that you sketchbook? Can I see it?”

 Trowa shrugged and handed it to her.

 Jackie began to flip through the pages. They were very good, but each one seemed to be of a clown getting killed.

 “I guess you don’t like clowns,” she mused.

 “Oh, I love clowns,” he replied. “I’m the clown.”

 “Oh……,” Jackie mumbled, handing him back his sketchbook. She checked her watch. Only ten minutes to go.

 “I hate gym,” Lauren cried.

 “That’s because you suck at it!”

 “Shut up, sleaze bag!”

 “Bite me, whore!” he replied. He paused. “I know that loser!” he pointed to an attractive young man with a girly braid. He was playing basketball.

 “Hey Duo!” he called. “You suck!”

 Duo looked up and went to wave, but a basketball suddenly appeared and smacked him in the side of the head.

 “You idiot! Now we have to give the ball over to the other side!” a team mate groaned.
 “Haven’t you ever played basketball?”

 Duo nodded wearily. “I’m really good…,” he replied, standing. “It was WuFei’s fault.”

 “Bite me!” WuFei replied.

 Lauren and WuFei watched the game for a few more minutes, but each play seemed to end with someone pulling Duo’s braid and Duo falling down and whining.

 “That’s not fair!” he protested. “I’m really good! You guys are cheating!”

 “Sure…,” a team mate replied.

 “I’m going to take a break,” Duo snapped, heading over to Lauren. “Hi, I’m Duo. Don’t believe whatever WuFei told you about me.”

 “I said you sucked,” WuFei growled.

 “Shut up, Woofie!”

 Lauren grinned. “I’m Lauren. Uh, I guess basketball’s not your thing.”

 “Yes it is!” he protested. “They kept pulling my hair!”

 Lauren nodded placatingly. “Right. So what is with the hair anyway?”

 He shrugged. “You don’t think it’s cool?”

 “No.”

 “Oh…..,” Duo replied softly. “Well I better get back to the game.” He started to walk away, then jerked and fell to the ground. “Ow!”

 WuFei had tied his hair to the bleachers. “Hahahahahaha!” WuFei said smugly.

 “I hate you,” Duo said, untying his braid.

 “WuFei, that was mean. You’re such a loser,” Lauren snapped.

 “Shut up, whore,” WuFei continued. “Take me to the cafeteria.”

 “Sorry, they don’t serve dog food,” she snapped, shoving him against the bleachers.

 Duo waved. “See you guys later!” he said cheerfully, as his teammates began pulling his braid again.

 She headed into the room to find a short but handsome young man in front of the room. Shell smiled. This school had sure gotten more handsome from last year!
 “Uh, this is Heero Yuy,” Mr. Smith began. “He’s new. He wants to make an opening speech.”

 Shell raised an eyebrow. Interesting.

 “I’m Heero Yuy. For years humans have been fighting. These conflicts sometimes turn into wars. War is necessary sometimes to attain peace. Sometimes, people are even created purely for the purpose of war. During peacetime, these people
cease to exist. They disappear into the crowd until they are needed again.” he paused. “But they never wait long. There is always someone trying to start a war, and someone trying to stop it.”

 “Uh, does this have a point?” Mr. Smith asked.

 “I’m just trying to get to know my classmates,” Heero replied. “Trying to, you know, blend.”

 “The yellow sneakers aren’t helping,” someone called.

 He frowned. “Anyway, I’m Heero Yuy-“

 “We know!”

 “And it’s a pleasure to meet you all.” He frowned and took a seat.

 Next to Shell.

 Hehehehe. Shell was thinking of many many plans.

 “Hi, I’m Michelle,” said Shell. “You can call me Shell.”

 He nodded.

 “Um, so, how do you like the school?”

 “I won’t be here for long,” he replied.

 Shell frowned. “That sounds disturbingly like something WuFei said. Do you know Wufei?”

 “WuFei talked to you? What did he say? What class is he in now?” Heero asked, removing what looked like a water gun from his book bag. “Has he been captured?”

 “What?” Shell asked. “What’s with the water gun? Assassination isn’t until the end of the year.”

 “Are you with OZ?” he asked. “How do you know about WuFei?”

 “He’s in my spanish class…..”

 “He’s here? In this school? As a student?”

 Shell nodded blankly.

 He put the gun back. “Oh. Why didn’t you say so?” He turned back to the front of the room.

 Shell shrugged. Whatever. She could live with a crazy hottie. She began scribbling ‘Shell Yuy’ on her notebook.

 He looked down at the paper in front of him. “Um chemistry. That sounds confusing.”

 Michelle nodded. “I think so too.”

 “Hey! Quit it guys! I could take you all down, only that would get me attention! Come on! I’m not a geek!” a voice protested. “And only freshman can get shoved into lockers!”

 “I think that’s Duo,” Quatre said in wonder. “I think he’s in trouble. Let’s go!”

 They jogged down the science hallway and found a group of seniors trying to shove a hapless Duo into one of the lockers.

 “He’ll probably fit,” Michelle mused. “He’s pretty short.”

 Quatre frowned. “Let’s go help him.”

 “Why don’t you pick on Heero? Didn’t you see him? He’s wearing spandex! Spandex! I dress normally!” Duo continued to babble.
 “What’s going on, here?” Quatre said, drawing himself up to his full height. (An impressive five foot one.)

 The seniors turned. They laughed.

 Michelle nudged Quatre. “Let me handle this.”

 Quatre shook his head. “It’s too dangerous!”

 “Yeah, for you,” she replied.

 “Hey guys,” Michelle said with a wink and a saunter. “How about you and me go behind the school?”

 They grinned. “Really?” one asked.

 “Sure. Leave the geek,” she replied.

 They nodded eagerly. “All of us?”

 She shrugged. “Sure why not?”

 As they began walking away, Michelle called to a bitchy hall monitor, “They went to their lockers without a pass!”

 She gasped. She began shoving them towards the vice principal's office. “How dare you!” she wacked one over the head with her walkie-talkie. “Of all the evil things to do!”

 Michelle giggled. “I knew that bitch was good for something.”

 “Her and the nurse should get together,” Quatre agreed, helping Duo out of the locker.

 “Well that was embarassing,” Duo snapped, trying to get his hair unstuck from one of the hooks. He pulled free. “Why doesn’t anyone like me?”

 Michelle grinned. “You know who would really like you? My friend Jackie. She’d think you were really cool.”

 “I am really cool,” Duo protested.

 “Right,” Michelle replied, “and Quatre’s manly.”

 Quatre frowned. “I’m pretty buff.”

 “Sure,” she giggled. “Come on. Let’s go to Chemistry.”

 Lauren squinted. “What?”

 “It is! Oh geez, what a geek!” WuFei giggled. He pointed. “Oh, lunchlady Zechs!” he hooted.

 Zechs, a handsome young man in a barely fitting hairnet, looked up. “Wufei!? What are you doing here?”

 “I  go to school here,” he replied. “What are you doing here?”

 Zechs frowned. “It was all Treize’s idea! It’s undercover work.”

 WuFei stifled another giggle. “Right. Well I’ll have some potato salad I guess.”

 Lauren sighed dreamily and leaned against the counter. “Hello….Zechs.”

 “What did you call me?” he asked.

 “Zechs! I said Zechs!” she protested. “Hey. I’m Lauren.”

 WuFei growled, “She’s my chick.”

 “Ewww! No I’m not!” Lauren cried, shoving Wufei.

 “Quit hitting me!” he snapped. “Whore!”

 “Shut up. I’m trying to talk to Sex, Zechs!”

 “Whore,” Wufei spat again, digging into his potato salad. He suddenly choked, muttered, “Oh, that is disgusting!” and withdrew a five foot long strand of white hair. “What the hell is this?”

 Zechs looked around. “Uh…well that’s obviously not mine….”

 “It’s five feet long! Find me another five foot long strand of white hair on another cafeteria lady’s head and I’ll believe you!”

 Zechs blushed. “I’m wearing a hairnet…” he paused. “Maybe it’s yours.”

 “Mine!” WuFei cried. “Does this look like something that came off me?”

 “I’m wearing a hairnet,” he repeated, “are you?”

 “Of course not! Ick! That is so unsanitary! Who hired you?”

 Lauren nudged WuFei again. “Stop making such a big deal. It’s just hair. Long, silky, abundant hair.” she grinned. “So, how old are you? I’m….twenty. Yeah.”

 “I’m nineteen,” he replied.

 “So am I!” Lauren replied.

 “Liar,” Wufei snapped. “You just said you were twenty.”

 She whispered, “I thought he was older than that. But that’s perfect!”

 “Whatever. Can I have some prepackaged food?” he snapped. “Nothing you touched!”

 Zechs nodded sheepishly and brought WuFei some goldfish crackers.

 “Goldfish! These aren’t manly!”

 “Neither are you! Shut up!” Lauren snapped. “So, Zechs….wanna ditch these jerks?”

 “Hey!” WuFei protested.

 “I can’t. I work here. And Treize will come in any minute. Treize….”

 Lauren frowned. “What?”

 “Fruitcake,” WuFei muttered.

 “He is not!” Lauren protested weakly.

 WuFei steered her away. “Sorry, whore. It’s not to be.”

 Lauren sighed.

 “Who’s Relena?” Shell whispered.

 “A stupid bitch,” he whispered back. “I will destroy her.”

 “Old flame?” Shell asked with a wink.

 He seemed disgusted. “Ew! No!”

 “Hey you remind me of Tuxedo Mask from Sailor Moon!” She exclaimed, trying to make conversation.

 “What?!” he exclaimed in horror. “Sailor Moon!! Have you ever even seen that show?!”

 She swallowed. “Uh….not really….”

 Heero shook his head. “Then don’t compare me to something you know nothing about!”

 Tears came to Shell’s eyes. “I was just trying to make conversation!!”

 Heero mumbled, “oh.” He paused. “Sorry.” He took out a small notebook that had ‘normal conversation topics’ scrawled on the cover. He quickly thumbed through it. “Uh…did you see last weeks…Daw-son’s Creek?” He grinned eagerly.

 “Can I go to the bathroom?” Shell asked quickly.

 “Wanna go to the courtyard?” she asked him.

 “Sure, I guess it’s better than….health,” he replied, looking at his schedule.

 They walked into the courtyard and Jackie was surprised to spot Lauren who was arguing with some Chinese kid.

 “Didn’t I tell you to shut up, whore!” the kid yelled.

 “Go to hell!” she snapped, pushing him.

 “Stop pushing me!” he cried.

 “Uh….hi,” Jackie spoke up, interrupting them.

 Lauren looked over. “Oh, hi, Jackie.”

 “Oh no, it’s Trowa,” the Chinese kid said.

 “Who the hell are you?” Trowa asked.

 WuFei slapped him upside the head.

 “Oh, hi WuFei,” Trowa replied with a smile.

 “Hey, Jackie, there’s this really hot guy working in the cafeteria,” Lauren said excitedly.

 “He’s GAY!” WuFei yelled.

 “Shut up, jerk!” Lauren cried, pushing him yet again.

 “I told you to stop doing that!” he yelled. “Now introduce me to your friend, woman!”

 Lauren sighed laborously. “Jackie…this is WuFei the stupid self-centered pig.”

 “Uh…hi, WuFei,” Jackie replied. “Trowa, this is Lauren. Lauren, Trowa.”

 “Hi, Trowa,” Lauren said.

 “Hi, Lauren. Do you have any heavy blunt objects you feel like whacking me with?”

 “Freak!” shrieked WuFei. “Not here!”

 Lauren peeked into the cafeteria to see Zechs talking to some other really really hot guy. “Damn!”

 Jackie looked too. “That’s my photography instructor. He’s nuts.”

 “He’s drop dead gorgeous!” Lauren drooled.

 “He’s gay too!” WuFei put in.

 Lauren turned and glared at him, “That’s it!” She began to chase WuFei around the courtyard.

 “Stupid woman!” he shrieked. “If I had Nataku….”

 Jackie backed up a step. “Uh….we’ll see you guys later.”

 She and Trowa went to another corner of the courtyard where a couple of the well known druggies were gathered.

 “Hey, wanna smoke?” one of the kids asked Trowa.

 “Huh?” Trowa commented absently.

 “Hey! He’s already wasted!” another kid pointed out.

 Trowa picked up a dandelion and blew on it. The seeds went flying. “The seeds…they are my tears.”

 Jackie looked scared.

 “Wow! What is he smokin’?” one kid exclaimed. “I gotta get me some!”

 Jackie pulled on Trowa’s arm. “Let’s go.”

 Quatre frowned.

 “Let’s cut,” Duo whispered.

 “We just got here, jerk,” Michelle muttered.

 Duo glared at her. “Well I’m leaving.” He went to get up, but his hair was caught on the chair. “Ow!” he yelped, sitting back down. “Never mind.”

 “That really is getting to be a hazard,” Quatre pointed out.

 “Ha ha,” Michelle laughed to herself.

 “But if I cut it I’ll look just like Heero!” Duo responded.

 “He’ll be the one in the yellow sneakers,” Quatre said. “We’ll remember the difference.”

 “No, man. The hair is part of who I am. I’m wild and free!”

 “And dumb,” Michelle mumbled. “You know, you’d really get along with Jackie.”

 “Is she hot?” Duo asked.

 “Pervert,” Michelle muttered.

 “Now class,” Mr. Snore said. “I’m going to begin the year by showing you my many slides of when I went to the Nuclear Reactor.” He pulled about 10 rolls of slides out of the closet. “This is non stop fun. I think you’ll really enjoy all the pictures of the trees around the site.”

 Duo slumped down in his chair.

 “Hey, this could be interesting,” Quatre commented.

 Michelle groaned.

 Shell jumped out of her chair excitedly. “Yeah! Lunch!” She turned to Heero. “This is the first year we have 3rd period lunch. They’re going to be serving brunch for lunch every day.”

 “I have 3rd period lunch too,” he said. “Do they have waffles?”

 Shell nodded. “Yes. But I’m warning you, they can get pretty hard.”

 “Anything’s better than WuFei’s cooking,” he mumbled.

 They went to the cafeteria. There they saw Lauren, WuFei, Jackie and some other kid with his hair in his face.

 “Hey, Shell!” Lauren called. “Glad you….” she stopped dead when she saw Heero. “Who is that.”

 “Stupid whore,” mumbled WuFei.
 “Oh, this is Heero,” Shell told her. “He watches  Dawson’s Creek and Sailor Moon.”
 Heero frowned.

 Lauren batted her eyelashes. “Me too.”

 “You don’t watch Dawson’s Creek,” Jackie put in.

 “Shut up!” Lauren snapped, shoving her into WuFei.

 “Stop pushing me!” WuFei cried again. “My stomach hurts. I think I should go see the nurse.”

 “I wouldn’t,” a voice from behind said.

 WuFei turned around. “Quatre?”

“She’s weird,” Quatre said, shaking.

 Michelle patted him on the shoulder. “It’s okay.”

 Jackie’s eyes were on Duo. “Whoa…Michelle…who’s your friend?”

 Michelle rolled her eyes. “Jackie, meet Duo. Duo, meet Jackie.”

 Duo grinned. “So you’re Jackie! I’ve heard a lot about you.”

 “Hey, it’s the dork with the hair!” someone called.

 “Stop picking on me!” he called back. “I’m cool! Pick on Quatre! He’s a geek!”

 “Hey!” Quatre protested. “I saved you.”

 Shell pointed to Heero. “Michelle, this is Heero. He watches Dawson’s Creek and Sailor Moon.”

 Duo’s jaw dropped. “You watch Dawson’s Creek?!”

 Heero shook his head and sighed.

 “I don’t know what kind of conditioner Zechs uses on his hair but I think it’s reacting with my stomach acid,” WuFei groaned.

 Lauren laughed at him.

 “Shut up, woman! He’s GAY!”

 She pushed him again. He fell to the ground, groaning.

 “I don’t think I can get up now!” he moaned.

 She laughed again and turned to Heero. “Come on.” They went to get food.

 “THEY’RE ALL GAY!!!” WuFei gasped. “HE WATCHES DAWSON’S CREEK!”

 “Hey, Shell, this is Trowa,” Jackie said.

 “Hey, I like your hair,” Shell commented.

 “Thanks. Would you like to borrow some of my hair gel? It’s non-toxic, I tried it.” Trowa replied.

 “Try the cafeteria food,” gasped WuFei.

 “I’d love to try it,” Shell replied. She and Trowa went to sit down.

 “So, Duo,” Jackie said, turning to him. “I love your hair.”

 “REALLY?!” Duo exclaimed. “I lost a lot of it to my chair, but it still looks pretty good.”

 “Jerk,” Michelle muttered. “He fits in a locker. Want me to show you?”

 “That’s not nice,” Quatre commented.

 “Does someone wanna help me here?” WuFei moaned.

 “You’re better off there than at the nurse’s office,” Quatre told him.

 Lauren and Heero came back. Lauren didn’t look too happy.

 “Ha ha! I told you they were gay!” WuFei exclaimed happily.

 Lauren kicked him in the stomach.

 WuFei lost conciousness.

 “They signed me up for chorus,” Heero said.

 “Me too,” everyone else said.

 “I used to be in chorus,” Lauren told him. “You can have my folder. It’s number 45.”

 “I have to be number 001,” Heero told her.

 The guys all laughed.

 “Must be a Dawson’s Creek joke,” shrugged Shell.

 “Shouldn’t someone help WuFei?” Quatre asked.

 “Nah,” Lauren replied. “He deserves it.”

 Shell began eating. “What happened to him?”

 “He ate some cafeteria food,” Lauren said casually.

 Everyone spat out what they were eating.

 “Well screw that!” Michelle exclaimed.

 Quatre frowned. “I’m hungry.”

 “You can have my fries,” Shell offered.

 “Don’t try to kill poor Quatre!” Michelle yelled.

 “I’ll eat them!” Trowa said happily.

 “No, stop it!” Shell said, smearing some hair gel into her hair. It instantly stuck forward. “How does it look?”

 “You make a pair,” Lauren told her dryly.

 Shell smiled.

 “Dammit, woman!” said a voice from the floor. “Help me!”

 “Are you up?” Lauren  groaned. “Don’t make me kick you again.”

 Treize and Zechs came over.

 “Why hello everyone,” Treize said.

 “Hi,” Lauren said dreamily.

 cough “Gay.” cough Said WuFei from the floor.

 Lauren kicked him.

 “Ow!”

 Zechs looked down. “What happened to you?”

 “You happened to me, Lady Lovely Locks!” WuFei snapped.

 “I guess this isn’t the right time to ask you to duel then,” Treize sighed, disappointed.

 “Obviously not, brainiac!” WuFei snapped.

 Treize frowned.

 “Would anyone like some goldfish?” Zechs asked.

 Quatre made a grab for it.

 “That’s  nice of you, sex—er..Zechs! I meant Zechs!” Lauren exclaimed.

 “Hmmm…” Heero commented to himself.

 “You can call me Milliardo,” said Zechs with a proud grin.

 “No you can’t,” Treize put in, giving Zechs a nudge.

 Zechs frowned. “You’re always trying to hide who I am!” he cried.

 Jackie spoke up. “Mr….uh….Treize, can you explain what we did in class today?”

 Treize paused. “Uh….no.”

 Jackie frowned.

 “I understood it!” Trowa said happily.

 “You’re so smart!” Shell said, giving him a hug.

 “So how do you guys like the school?” Michelle asked.

 “It’s beautiful,” Quatre commented through a mouthful of goldfish.

 “It allows me to share my wisdom with the rest of the world,” said Treize.

 “It allows me to be next to the man of my dreams,” Zechs replied.

 Lauren frowned. WuFei laughed.

 “It allows me to flaunt my intelligence over the rest of you weak imbeciles!” WuFei declared. Lauren kicked him again. “Dammit, woman!”

 “It’s a good cover for my covert activities,” Heero mumbled.

 “It’s a good place to chill,” sighed Trowa.

 “I hate it,” Duo whined.

 “And I think we all agree with Duo,” Lauren added. She paused. “Why the hell am I here anyway?”