Squall...I Am Your Father....

Laguna: "Squall, I am your father."
Squall: (starts crying and banging his fist against the wall) "Oh no! It's not fair! My father's an idiot!"
Laguna: "I'm a what now?"
Kiros: "Ward says the kid's right."
(Ward glares disapprovingly at Kiros)
Laguna: (looking at Ward, then at Kiros) "No he didn't, Kiros. Why do you blame all the nasty things you're thinking on Ward, just cause he can't speak?!"
Kiros: (looks around frantically) "Uh...Ward says he's gonna go flirt with Rinoa now." (Runs from the room.)
Squall: "Hey! That my chick!" (Follows Kiros out)
Laguna: (shrugs) "Whatever. That went pretty well."
(Ward shakes his head)
(Meanwhile...)
Irvine: "Hey, Selphie, what do you think of this idea. We convince Rinoa Squall's boring, and go have a threesome!"
Selphie: "Ew! Irvine, that's the 4th time you suggested that today!"
Irvine: "Is that a no?"
Selphie: "Yes!"
Irvine: "Damn!"
Zell: (punching the air) "Don't worry, Selphie. I'll take care of cowboy jerk for ya."
Irvine: (laughs) "Yeah. Right."
Zell: (starts flipping out) "You wanna take this outside?!"
Irvine: "No." (walks away)
(Kiros talks to Rinoa)
Rinoa: "Uh...that's really nice, Kiros."
Kiros: (showing off his Katal) "Yeah, and it makes chopping vegetables really easy."
Rinoa: "Does it come off?"
Kiros: "It can do whatever you want, baby." (winks)
Squall: "Rinoa! Come on! If you come back I'll stop saying 'whatever' so much!"
Rinoa: "Really?"
Squall: "Whatever...whoops."
Irvine: "Hey, Selphie. Maybe Quistis will let me borrow her whip!" (wink)
Selphie: "Ew! No!" (snatches 'Girl Next Door' Magazine from Irvine) "Stop reading that! I'm going to give it to someone who won't know what to do with it!" (gives it to Zell)
Zell: "Hey, what's this?" (begins flipping through it.) "Whoa." (goes to sit in the corner with it)
Rinoa: "Sorry, Kiros. But I love Squall."
Squall: "Score!" (goes off with Rinoa)
Irvine: (pouts) "I'm not getting anywhere with these Balamb Garden chicks. Galbadia Garden chicks were much easier." (looks at Zell, who's engrossed in the magazine) "And that stupid jerk has my favorite magazine!"
Laguna: (rushing in) "Hey hey! I'm President of Esthar!"
Kiros: "Ward says he hates you."
Laguna: (looks around) "But Ward's not even here, Kiros...."

THE END