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Interlude V

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    They met frequently.

    Reeve was often visiting Bria's small home now, talking with her about Shinra, about politics, about morals, about his feelings, and a million other things they found to talk about. She was as good a speaker as she was a listener, and Reeve found her intelligence staggering. It had been so long since he had shared rewarding conversations with someone outside Shinra. Her determination and her passion for freedom and righteousness inspired him far more than any architectural book he had ever laid a hand on. They shared the same dreams, held the same goals. Bria was a beautiful person, both inside and out. And gradually, as their number of meetings increased, he found that he had in fact fallen in love with this pure, seemingly perfect woman with a loving heart and an angelic soul. He truly wished nothing more than to fall into her arms and be with her forever.

    But he wore a ring on his finger that reminded him constantly of a silent promise, a promise he hated to break. But there was nothing to worry about. Bria seemed to show no interest in him as more than a friend, and he didn't wish to jeopardize the special bond they shared.

    He wore gold on his finger, but every day he wondered who the gold in his heart shone more brightly for.

    It was unclear how long he had been asleep, but he awoke to see the dark haired Turk pulling his shoes off from his seat at the edge of the bed. Reeve propped himself up on his elbows, licking at his dry lips as a lock of tousled black hair fell across his eyes. "Tseng... What time is it?"

    The Turk turned his head, a bit surprised to see the older man awake. "Oh, I'm sorry I woke you, I didn't mean it." He failed to say the time as he went back to his shoes, dropping them on the floor with a sigh.

    "Tseng, are you mad at me?" the executive crawled over the covers to sit closer to his long time friend.

    "What?" Turning his head, there was no doubt at the shock in the young man's eyes. "No, Reeve. I'm not mad at you at all. Why should I be? If anyone should be, it's you."

    "I'm not." He tentatively touched his friend's shoulder before resting his hand upon it. "You've just been acting so weird lately." Reeve squeezed Tseng's shoulder gently. "If something's wrong, I want to know."

    Tseng's left hand crossed over, took the executive's warm fingers in his own, and brought it to his lips, brushing cool lips over lightly tanned knuckles. "Reeve..." he whispered, making the other man's nerves tingle. "It's this crazy world. Everything's getting all fucked up." Tseng dropped the older man's hand and fell down on his back with an exhausted sigh. "With Rufus becoming President and all this shit with Sephiroth..." His black eyes closed with a reflective breath escaping his lips. "It doesn't feel right somehow. So many things..." he trailed off.

    Reeve looked down at his love with a furrowed brow. All the commotion with President Shinra dying and Sephiroth had been hard on both of them, especially with the new orders Reeve had received. Using Cait Sith he was to spy on Cloud's team until they found the key to the Ancients. Then he was to steal it, handing it over to the greedy hands of Shinra.

    Being Cait Sith was too damn easy. The creature was such a joke that no one would ever suspect him. And although he wanted so badly to betray Shinra and use their own invention against them, something was holding him back. With a sigh of his own he reached down and absently began stroking the young man's long, silky black hair. "How was Gongaga?"

    "Terrible. They sent me with Scarlet, and she went on about how great her and her damn weapons department is. Took her time bashing Heidegger too. In some ways I don't blame her, but she's one to talk, heartless bitch that she is."

    "Did you see Cloud?" A long finger trailed down the side of the Turk's face.

    "No, but Reno and Rude did. They fought, but they didn't come away too injured this time."

    "And Elena?"

    "She's eager. Talks too much, but she'll make a good Turk." A smile came to his lips. "I think she has a crush on me."

    Reeve grinned and couldn't stop himself from replying, "who can blame her?" His fingers traced a smooth jaw line. "Have you spoken to Rufus?"

    "How people change. It's as if that kid Reno and Rude used to torture never existed inside him at all. Something happened to him. He's been left in the cold too long."

    "I have to see him this week." Fingers whispered over barely parted lips. "What's next for you?"

    "The key, whenever that should turn up." With a sigh he requested, "kiss me, Reeve. If you want to."

    Without a moment's hesitation, the executive leaned over to kiss those parted, familiar lips, as deeply as he could.

    Tseng moaned lightly, wrapping arms around his lover's neck as they gently broke apart. "I've wanted that. Wanted it so badly. I've missed you."

    "Missed you too," Reeve confirmed, brushing their lips again. "You must be exhausted."

    "Tired enough to fall asleep in your arms forever." Black eyelashes finally lifted, and Reeve was staring directly into his friend's glassy, tired eyes for the first time in too long. "Oh, Reeve, I envy you."

    "You're tired," Reeve said quickly, helping the Turk sit up and helping him out of his jacket and shirt. "You need rest."

    "I'm not delirious," Tseng assured him as the older man gently eased him back onto the pillows. "You know why I envy you."

    Reeve kissed his forehead, ignoring the words he just didn't want to hear from Tseng. "Sleep now. I'll hold you." With that he too lay back down, embracing the younger man and fitting their bodies together.

    "Reeve..." Tseng yawned his name, hands pressed to his friend's chest, eye lids so heavy they couldn't have been pried open. "I love you so much my heart could break."

    The older man rested his cheek atop his friend's head with a troubled sigh. "Oh, Tseng..." I feel just the same way.

    "Bria, I want to show you something."

    She watched as he removed the remote control from his pocket. "Reeve, what is that?"

    "Cait Sith. This is the remote to control it. He's a cat on top of stuffed moogle, and he's the spy ordered to follow Cloud Strife for the benefit of Shinra Inc." He hung his head. "I control him."

    She said, "it's not worth it."

    His eyes met hers. "Help me."

    "Whatever they're paying you, or whatever it is that's making you follow them isn't worth it." Suddenly she reached out and took hold of his lower arm. Reeve looked at where she touched him before shifting his gaze back to her. "You're hurting far more people than you're helping. You know that."

    "It gets harder every day." Again he looked away. "They don't get paid, and yet they go after what they believe in. Every day I grow further away from Shinra and I think 'I want to be like that'." Their eyes met again. "But I'm scared. Scared of Rufus and of people who could find out I've betrayed them. I'd be killed. Then who would look out for Midgar and all the people?" With a sigh he added, "this has always seemed like they were handing me their own destruction on a silver platter, but I just can't follow through."

    "Reeve." She squeezed his arm, sliding closer, pure blue eyes pleading with his. "They won't know. This is your best way. You can't just sit back and let them take advantage of you. Have courage, Reeve. Push your fear aside and do what you know is right. You can make a difference, Reeve, just like you always wanted to."

    Just like I always wanted to. Her words shot straight to his heart, and for a long moment he was falling, falling into her eyes and losing himself in his love for her. "Bria..." Ever so gently he cupped her face in his hands and leaned in to capture her lips.

    He kissed her, and she let him.

    Bria moaned softly, opening her lips to him as her arms wound around his neck. Oh my god, thought Reeve, kissing her more insistently, she has feelings for me?

    He was the one to part their lips, and he did so breathlessly, mind whirling. Reeve tried to get his thoughts together, trying to think of something to say to her. "I...I..."

    "You're a good man, Reeve," she said softly, stroking his face. "It's not over for you. Don't give up."

    "Bria..." he still held her face in his hands and he sighed in frustration. Aw, dammit, Tseng. "I-I'm sorry."

    "About the kiss?" She smiled, blushing lightly. "Don't be. I... I... I wanted it too."

    Oh shit. She does have feelings for me. "Oh my god," he breathed, amazed and a little scared.

    Brushing some hair off his face she told him, "I really like you, Reeve. That's why I don't want to see you so afraid."

    Bria... Tseng... Slowly he separated himself from her, getting back to his feet. "I should go."

    "All right." She stood too, slowly, and failed to meet his gaze. "...Will you come back, Reeve?"

    "Yes." He rushed the words. "Yes of course I will. I really like you, Bria, I--" He stopped himself and let out the breath he had been holding. "I'll call tomorrow."

    And as she met his eyes he knew that things with Tseng could never be the same again.

    Shit. Reeve plopped down on the bed, so angry with himself. Tseng's right. Everything is all fucked up.

    He just lay there, thinking until Tseng came home. Then he pretended to be asleep, turning his back on his best friend in the world.

    The bed shifted as Tseng sat besides him, tenderly stroking his hair. "Oh, Reeve... I love you."

    Squeezing his eyes shut as tightly as he could, Reeve bit down on his own hand so Tseng couldn't hear him crying.

    Things had escalated with Bria. He saw her as often as usual, but conversations often gave way to long make out sessions in which he had to restrain himself from stripping her and taking her right there. He couldn't get enough of her, the way her fingers felt on his skin, the way her tongue felt against his, the way she moaned his name as he sucked on her pale, sweet skin. He had never loved a woman in his life. He had most certainly never loved Scarlet. But he loved Bria. And he had a suspicion she loved him too.

    But Reeve kept the magic words locked up inside. He had never told anyone he loved them in this sense. After all, the only other person he loved in the same way was Tseng, and he had never been able to manage those words to his friend.

    He sat with his ankles crossed on the bed he and Tseng still shared, smoking again. It had seemed like forever since he had lit up a cigarette and smoked his troubles away. With a sigh he flicked some ashes into the tray and put it to his lips. He jumped slightly as the door opened, and Tseng dragged his body into the room.

    The Turk looked tired and sore as he closed the door behind him and smoothed a hand over his mussed black hair. "Ah... Reeve... Could you not?" He gestured to the cigarette.

    Reeve made no motion to extinguish it. "What's wrong with you?"

    "Nothing." He winced in extreme pain as he sat on the bed. "Shit... Ah..." Tseng sighed, looking back at Reeve, a pained expression on his face. "Put it out."

    Heh. Didn't say please. I'm in a foul mood too. I can be mean right back. Casually he inhaled from it again and let the smoke drift into the air.

    "Reeve, you know I hate those things." Tseng was glaring at him.

    The older man glared right back. And you know I hate when you pretend you're fine and act like a bitch to me. He kept smoking it.

    "Reeve!" the Turk snapped, slamming a hand down on the bed. Apparently he was not going to let it go.

    I'll shut him up. Clenching his jaw, Reeve took another puff and then flicked the ashes into his friend's face.

    "Reeve!" Tseng screamed, scrambling to his feet and waving the particles away from his face. "Those fucking things burned my house down!"

    Reeve froze. He became so stiff so suddenly that he couldn't even breathe or blink. Oh, shit.

    The Turk groaned loudly, a hand going to his lower back. "Shit." He stumbled off into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

    Absently, Reeve put the cigarette out. What the hell is wrong with me? I'm such an asshole. He got up and went to the bathroom, banging on the door. "Tseng! I'm sorry I was such an asshole!"

    "It's all right, Reeve. I know you didn't mean it." Reeve could hear the water running. "Just give me a minute."

    With a furrowed brow, the older man pressed his ear to the door. "Tseng? You all right there?"

    "Ow... Shit. Ugh! Yeah." He was panting somewhat. "I'm fine."

    He was growing concerned and panicked. "No you're not. Tseng, let me in."

    "Just a minute. Ah, shit!"

    "I'm coming in!!"

    "No, Reeve!"

    "TSENG!" Reeve growled, pounding on the door as though he were to break it down. His voice was unusually deep. "OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR, TSENG, OR I'LL FUCKING BREAK IT DOWN!"

    "No, *Reeve*!" The other man's voice was trembling.

    Anger boiling, Reeve kicked the door and shoved it open. The Turk was scrambling to pull up his pants, fiddling with the zipper.

    "Reeve! How could you!" Tseng was half glaring at him behind wet eyes.

    The older man said nothing, he simply advanced on Tseng with a hard look in his eye, forcing the younger man to back into the wall.

    "Don't hurt me, Reeve!" the Turk pleaded, turning his head to the side as he griped the wall, bracing himself for a blow.

    Reeve grabbed him roughly, holding him by the shoulders, and shook him. Tseng's head still fell to the side. "I would never hurt you," he growled, voice low and menacing despite his words. "Never. And if you thought I was going to, you should have kicked my sorry ass. What's gotten into you, Tseng? You should have hit me, Tseng. You *should* have. You're strong, god dammit. You don't have to have to slink away and act all weak like this! Why don't you fucking stand up for yourself?"

    A single tear slipped from the Turk's otherwise dry eye. "Because..." his voice shook and it was moments away from being consumed entirely. "Because I will never hurt you, Reeve. Not ever again. And I won't let any harm come to you." He let his head drop, weeping now. "Not for any price!"

    "What happened to you?" Reeve's voice returned to normal, and he spoke softly, trying to make eye contact with his friend. He let his hand drop, brushing across the Turk's lower back. "What did you let happen?" He watched his friend as he squeezed his eyes shut, bracing himself again.

    "Oh, don't, Reeve..."

    His eyes as sharp as knives, Reeve let his hand drop further, barely letting his fingers touch the younger man's backside. Tseng yelped, digging his hands into Reeve's shoulders at the contact, hissing between clenched teeth. "What the..." Brushing some black hair off of the Turks' neck, Reeve gasped to see small red bite marks covering the otherwise unblemished skin. "Aw, shit."

    "It's not what you think!" Tseng pushed Reeve away and retreated into the corner, turning to face it, as if he was being punished.

    "Oh no?" Reeve came up behind him, placing a hand on either side of the wall, effectively trapping him. "Let it out."

    "Don't make me, Reeve."

    "Who raped you?"

    "No one."

    "You're lying."

    Tseng turned, a dull fire burning in wet eyes. "No one raped me. I wanted it."

    "Your eyes tell me differently."

    "Reeve--Ahh!!" The Turk took a step, but cried out in pain and fell into Reeve's strong arms.

     "Ah, Dieu, pourquoi ne me dira-t-il pas quand je l'aime tellement beaucoup?!" Reeve snarled as he held Tseng's body tightly against him.

    "I took a sleeping pill," Tseng whispered. "I think I'm gonna pass out...."

    And it didn't take long before he did. Reeve carried him back to bed, then stripped the sleeping Turk to his boxers, examining the cuts and bruises that seemed to cover the pale, smooth skin. And he didn't even want to think about what he *didn't* see. "Diable est-ce qu'est erroné avec vous? Que faites-vous à vous-même?" He muttered, still angry.  Taking a deep breath he began talking to his friend's unconscious form. "I don't know why you gave into this, and I know you won't tell me either. I just wish you'd protect yourself a little better! You have the power to do it! I don't understand you!" Putting a hand on either side of the younger man's body, Reeve looked at the calm, sleeping face of his friend, his own features instantly softening. "Mon chéri, ma première passion," he sighed. "I'll protect you. Protect you with my life, even though I know that's the last thing you want from me. You're far too precious to me. And no matter what happens in this fucked up world of ours, I will protect you, and I will always love you, no matter where my heart wanders." He kissed his forehead lightly, drawing him tightly into his arms. "Such a fool I am... To ever, *ever* get this way... Cela prendrait cent ans pour prier la rémission..." Reeve smiled slightly, looking into his friend's sleeping face and stroking it gently. "Ah yes, you always hate when I use words you don't understand." Leaning closer, he translated his own heartfelt words. "It would take a hundred years to beg forgiveness..."

    "Tseng? Your Turk friend?" She looked concerned and tried to meet his eyes.

    Reeve flicked some ashes into the tray. "Yeah. He's my best friend in the world. Been that way for a long time. I don't get it. He's a fucking Turk and yet he lets jerks walk all over him. I mean, this is the second time he's gotten raped, and I--"

    "Wait." Bria cut him off, placing a hand on his arm. "He was raped?! And for a *second* time?"

    He turned and looked at her. "Yes."

    "Raped?! By a woman?!"

    "No. A man. Both times."

    She made a face. "Oh dear god."

    "He's gay," Reeve said bluntly, "but still. And I bet it was the same fucking asshole who raped him this time that raped him last time."

    Bria asked quietly, "who?"

    "...................I can't tell you. Old promise."

    Nodding, Bria looked away. "I understand."

    "Oh shit!" Reeve jumped to his feet, brushing the smoke out of the air. "I'm sorry! Oh god I'm sorry. I smoke when I'm nervous, and I'm just so worried about him, ya know? And he won't tell me anything and I--"

    "Reeve!" She got to her feet, grabbing his shoulders and forcing him to look at her. "Reeve, it's all right."

    His chin trembled, and he dropped his dead cigarette to the ground. "No... No it's..." Tears escaped his eyes, struggling to hold the emotion back. "No it's not..."

    Bria took him into her arms, letting the hysterical man cry on her shoulder. Tenderly she stroked his hair, whispering calm words into his ear. "It's all right, Reeve. Just talk it out."

    "I *can't*. He won't tell me anything!" Choking on his own words, he tried to control himself as he added, "I...I love him. He's my best friend. I don't want anything bad to happen to him! I would die if he...if he..." The sobs overcame his voice and he couldn't talk anymore.

    "Shush..." Shutting her eyes, Bria stroked his hair soothingly, hugging him tightly to her. "Aw, Reeve... Reeve..." She kissed his head and went back on holding him, rocking him gently. "Oh my beautiful Reeve..."

    Reeve griped her shoulders with all his might and, hearing her kind words, just cried harder.

    /"About the kiss? Don't be. I... I... I wanted it too."/

   /"Tired enough to fall asleep in your arms forever."/

    /"I really like you, Reeve. That's why I don't want to see you so afraid."/

    /"I'll protect you. Protect you with my life, even though I know that's the last thing you want from me. You're far too precious to me."/

    /"Yes of course I will. I really like you, Bria, I-- I'll call tomorrow."/

    Bria....

    Tseng...

    Has it really come down to this? Has it really come down to my worst nightmare?

    Am I...

    Am I going to have to...

    ....Choose?

    The word made him wince. Reeve sat on the window sill of his office, smoking a cigarette as he dug into the very pit of his own heart.

    You can't have two, Reeve, and you know that. Whether you like it or not, you are going to have to make a choice. Who will it be? Huh, Reeve? You dug yourself into this hole. Now dig yourself out.

    Tseng... I've been with you so long...

    /"Tseng Tyutyuik. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir."/

    /"I'm in love with you, Reeve. I have been for a long time. And I just.... I just.... Gods, I can never stop crying. I don't expect you to do anything, Reeve. I don't expect anything from you. I just... I just thought you should know. I just hope I don't lose your friendship."/

    /"No, Reeve. That's not true." He leaned closer. "I'm here....and I love you."/

    /"I just want you to be happy, Reeve."/

    /"I've wanted that. Wanted it so badly. I've missed you."/

    /"Because I will never hurt you, Reeve. Not ever again. And I won't let any harm come to you. Not for any price!"/

    But oh... Bria... I feel I need you to keep me going...

    /"I didn't say Shinra. I said *you*."/

    /"Is that so? Well I'm afraid, *sir*, if you are looking to hire someone who *likes* Shinra, you'll have to go look on a different planet."/

    /"I know this isn't a trick," she said evenly. "I could see in your eyes from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were different from the others. We'll talk soon. Good-bye."/

    /"You can't just sit back and let them take advantage of you. Have courage, Reeve. Push your fear aside and do what you know is right. You can make a difference, Reeve, just like you always wanted to."/

    /"You're a good man, Reeve," she said softly, stroking his face. "It's not over for you. Don't give up."/

    /"Oh my beautiful Reeve..."/

    Oh, god dammit...why?! Why does this have to be so damn hard? Tangling a hand in his own hair, Reeve gritted his teeth and tossed his cigarette out the window. It isn't fair to jerk them around. And I don't want to do this to myself either.

    Heaving a laborious sigh, Reeve got to his feet, locked the door, and made the biggest decision of his life.

    Going to tell him he had found someone else...

    He knew this was coming. I found some else. Someone else I could someday marry...and have a family with. I could never have with him. No matter how much we both wanted it....

    But no. It's time to forget about him now. Move on. He is your friend, and no more. No more kissing. No more loving embraces. No more intimacy. He'll always be your best friend, and you'll always love him. But this is the end of the 'more than friends thing'. He knew this was coming. He knew it. You knew it. This shouldn't be hard.

    Then why the hell is it?!

    The door opened, and the executive jumped a mile, turning to face the figure at the door.

    Tseng blinked, looking a little confused. "What's the matter, Reeve?" He threw his keys onto a nearby table. "Is something the matter?"

    "Uh.... Yeah. Tseng...I... I think we need to talk." Don't cry, Reeve. Whatever you do, *don't* cry.

    The younger man cocked an eyebrow. "Oh? What is it?"

    "Aahhh...." Reeve put his hands together, avoiding eye contact with the black haired beauty. "Oh, Tseng, I... I have some... Some bad news."

    The Turk tried to maintain eye contact with his friend. "What bad news, Reeve? Something is the matter, isn't it?"

    "Tseng, I--I.... What I'm trying to say is, you... you can't sleep here anymore." He blurted the words out without thinking, still refraining from making eye contact. He couldn't look at him, he just couldn't. Not without breaking down.

    Tseng said nothing.

    Reeve babbled, feeling he had to speak or die. "There's someone else..."

    "A woman?" Tseng's voice was emotionless as he finally spoke.

    Gaining the courage to look at him, Reeve blinked to see Tseng too was now avoiding eye contact. "Yes..." He replied, slowly. "It is a woman. Her name is Bria."

    "Oh." His voice was lifeless.

    "Look, Tseng, you're still my best friend," he reminded him, trying to soften the blow. Not only on him...

    "Uh-huh," sighed the Turk.

    Reeve was growing a bit annoyed at this response. He *knew* this was coming! Why is he so shocked and sad looking!? Dammit, he *knew*! "..you should have known this day would come. I'm not like that," he went on, his own words stinging at his heart. Even now I have to lie. What a terrible, terrible person I am.

    "I--I know." The younger man's voice grew quiet, and he hung his head.

    "I don't regret a second we spent together, Tseng. Honestly," he admitted. Yes. That much is true. So very true. I love you, Tseng. Reeve realized he was shaking.

    "Me neither," Tseng answered quietly, the tears becoming obvious in his voice.

    "Oh no, Tseng," Reeve begged, walking closer to him. "Don't cry." Cause I might too.

    "I'm sorry, Reeve," Tseng apologized, wiping away his tears with the back of his hand. "Gods, whatever I ever did to you... I'm sorry."

    "It's not you!" The older man exclaimed, instinctually reaching out and taking his shoulders. "It it's not you! It's me. I had to make a choice. You knew this was coming! You knew it!" Why does it sound like you're trying to convince yourself then, Reeve.

    "I know, Reeve." He kept dabbing at his wet eyes. "I knew it. I just can't help it."

    "I'm sorry, Tseng. So sorry. I love you." His own voice was choking. Shit. Damn you, Reeve. "You know I do." More than you even know. "You know I always will. And I don't want you to go out of your way for me anymore." He hung his head and added quietly, "I don't deserve it."

    "I have to," Tseng said simply. "I have to protect you. I finally understand now."

    Reeve looked up. "Understand what?"

   "Nothing." The Turk had a small, reflective smile on his face as he looked away from Reeve and stepped away from him. "I think I have to be by myself for awhile."

    "I..." Reeve trailed off before drawing a breath and offering the only words he could. "I don't know what to say."

    "I love you, Reeve." Their eyes met and locked. "So much. Be happy."

    Reeve could still feel his body trembling as he answered, "yes. You too, my friend. You too."

    "Yeah, man. What's up?"

    "I need you to do me a favor."

    "What's that?"

    "Aeris, you know her?"

    "'Course I do, man! Who in Shinra don't?"

    "I need you to go to her house. There is a little girl there. I need you to take her away and to a safe place."

    "'Kay, man. What's a safe place in Midgar?"

    "Ugh... That's the problem. Best if you took her to Kalm. Would that be a problem?"

    "No, man. I'll take care of it before we go on vacation. Me, Rude and Elena are headin' to Wutai to take a break and get drunk off our asses."

    "Heh. .....Is Tseng going?"

    "Nah, he's got stuff to do he said. You know, with the Temple and all. He isn't really gonna be in one place for long."

    "I see. Thank you, Reno."

    "Any time, man. See ya."

    "Good-bye." He hung up the PHS, and heaved a sigh. He was going to stay with Cloud's gang no matter what dirty little tricks he had to pull.

    He had seen Tseng only once since the break up, right before he left for the Temple. Now he was the one leading Cloud's team there, hoping he wouldn't see his friend.

    The day before the arrival of Cloud's team at the temple he sat in bed, lonely. He had always depended on having arms around him at night but no, no he had given that up. Sometimes it made him wonder...

    The PHS rang and he picked it up in a flash. "Bria?"

    "No."

    The voice was quiet, but familiar. "Tseng?" he practically whispered the name.

    "Hello, Reeve."

    "I'm sorry, Tseng. I was...uh...expecting her to call." He paused and licked his lips. "I'm glad to hear from you."

    "I just wanted to hear your voice, Reeve."

    "...I...I'm glad to hear yours too."

    "I was wondering, Reeve. That poem I wrote you for your birthday that year. Do you have it?"

    "Yes." Reeve reached into his inside jacket pocket and pulled out the piece of paper, creases folded deep from the many times he had read it. "Of course I do."

    "Hmm."

    "Tseng are you okay?"

    "Yes, I was just wondering."

    There passed a short silence.

    "I still wear my ring," Reeve admitted, glancing down at the gold band on his finger.

    "I never take it off," came the reply. "I never will."

    "Stay safe, okay?" Reeve begged, tears in his green eyes.

    "Can I tell you something, Reeve?"

    "Yes. Yes. Anything you want," he rushed.

    "I'm scared."

    The words hit him like two hard punches in the stomach. "Scared?" He weakly managed.

    "I'm scared of Shinra."

    Reeve tried to speak words he couldn't find. "Tseng... Tseng, I--"

    "You have to stop them, Reeve." The Turk's voice was firm. "You're the only one who will, because you're the only one who can."

    "I'm not just doing this because they're evil, Tseng," he blurted out, talking faster than he could think. "I'm doing this for you. I don't want you to be a Turk anymore. You deserve something better."

    "....trying to protect me, Reeve?"

    "Yes. Gods, I would die if something was to happen to you. That's why it upset me so much when..."

    "When I let Hojo fuck me?"

    "I knew it was him!" Reeve hissed, "I swear, if he didn't resign, I'd--"

    "I did it for you, Reeve." The Turk's voice was gentle. "He knew what you were doing with Cait Sith. He said it was me...or...your job. Or your life even. God knows what's going through Rufus' mind lately."

    He couldn't reply. Reeve sat in dead shock, mind completely blank. "Oh my god... Tseng... I..."

    "Don't speak, Reeve. I already know what you're going to say. Just listen to me. ----Kill it."

    He replied softly, "I will. And I'll do it for you, more than anything else."

    "Don't worry about me." There was a brief pause. "Reeve... Have you looked at the desk in your office lately?"

    "Not really..." He hadn't had a moments rest at that desk in awhile. "Why?"

    "...Just wondering." The Turk sighed. "I should be going..."

    "Hurry back." The words popped right out of Reeve's mouth.

    "I love you, Reeve. You know that."

    "I know. And it means so much to me."

    "I'll see you when this is all over."

    "Good-bye, Tseng." Shutting off the PHS with a sigh, Reeve put it aside and went over to the stack of papers he had taken off his office desk before leaving yesterday. He rummaged the papers and stopped dead as he came across one that showed off Tseng's neat cursive handwriting. Quickly he snatched it and read it.

        Dearest Reeve,

    I am very happy to see Bria has become such a powerful force in your life. She can give you everything I never could. I'm glad you found love, Reeve. As long as you're happy, I am too. No hard feelings. I understand. Being friends is more than I need from you.

    Love always,

    Tseng

    Reeve was shocked to see his own teardrops hit the paper. Quickly, he cleared them with his sleeve, breathing shakily. I should call him right back now and tell him I love him. Right now. But I can't. Not right now.

    Tucking the paper in a drawer for safe keeping, Reeve went back to bed and fell into a deep, troubled sleep.

    He was sitting alone on his bed, tossing his ring back and forth in his hands the day the fatal knock was heard upon the door.

    Reeve jerked out of his passive state, slipping the ring back on his finger and calling, "come in!"

    It was Reno. And instead of his usual lazy grin, the red head Turk's face was somber, almost withdrawn.

    "Hi, Reno. Look, thanks for helping me out."

    "No problem." The younger man stuffed his hands in his pockets and looked to the floor. "You haven't been around lately."

    "Yeah, you know. Busy with the spy." He nervously ran his hands through his hair. "So, what brings you here?"

    "You really haven't heard, have you?"

    Reeve's head snapped up. "What happened?"

    The red head licked his lips as he looked increasingly uncomfortable. "Yeah, something happened. Something you might wanna know about."

    "What? What happened?!" The older man demanded, desperate.

    "Reeve... Ah, man. I... I don't know how to tell ya this... Tseng's *dead*."

    Reeve died. Inside, he simply died. It was as if all his organs shut down at once. The words wouldn't even process in his mind. Dead. He was *dead*. Tseng was *dead*. Never in his life would Reeve be able to see Tseng again. He would never hear his voice. He would never hold him. He would never hear him say 'I love you'. He would never see him cry. Tseng was gone, and Reeve couldn't believe how fast he had lost so much.

    /"I'll love you forever, Reeve. No matter where I am. Don't forget that. Even if I'm dead, I'll love you."

    "Tseng, you're my best friend. If you die, part of me is buried with you."/

    Part...

    / "I'll see you when this is all over."

    "Good-bye, Tseng."/

    How would I know I'd be saying good-bye for good?

    Part of me. Only part. How could I have misspoke so horribly? It feels like you took my heart with you, wherever you are....

    "Reeve?" Reno asked, voice hesitant.

    Reeve was so sad, so angry and so shocked that he couldn't even cry. He couldn't even blink. "Tseng?" He whispered, unsure of his own voice. "Tseng..."

    "Reeve? You okay?" The red head prodded.

    He was as far from being okay as one could get. He still failed to answer Reno.

    "There was no body," the Turk said gently, trying to gain eye contact with Reeve. "All we found was his coat... It was...it was...c-covered in blood." The young man was having trouble with his words, but he managed somehow. "We're having a meeting now. About how to honor him."

    My best friend, the love of my life is *dead*, and Shinra Inc is going to have a *fucking* meeting about it.

    "I can't believe it," Reno muttered, sounding bitter. "He was so fucking strong. How could he just *die* like this?"

    "L-let's go," Reeve choked out from a closing throat. His eyes were surprisingly dry. "The meeting."

    You bastard, Tseng, Reeve thought as he followed Reno out the door. You let this happen, didn't you? You allowed yourself to die. And I'll be damned if I even care why. Inwardly, Reeve himself was half dead.

    "I'm sorry, sir." Reno answered dutifully, although he had been standing stone faced the entire meeting. Rude stood at his side, emotionless as always. Elena looked lifeless, just like Reeve felt. Scarlet sat on the couch, filing her nails, and the President, Rufus J. Shinra, stood by the window, glancing up at the sky.

    "You've got three more," Scarlet said with a shrug. "What's losing one?"

    Rufus said sternly, "he gave his life for Shinra. He did not die in vain."

    There is no way in hell he gave his life for Shinra. He gave his life for something else. Something better. But I don't give a fuck. He shouldn't be dead at all. Reeve looked at Scarlet, burning inside from her earlier comment. "He was a person, Scarlet. Not a possession." He fought the urge to beat her to the floor.

    "We'll bury him with the other Turks," Heidegger spoke up.

    "That's all he was," Scarlet added, glaring at Reeve.

    Tseng never wanted to be a Turk. He wanted to be safe. He wanted to be happy. He never got any of those things. To think he never had such simple things. Tseng, dammit. When I said I'd protect you, I meant it. I won't let them hurt you anymore.

   Rufus' face was unreadable. "Very well. Do what you wish."

    "You all don't get it, do you?" Reeve rose to his feet, looking over all the faces in the room. "He wasn't just another Turk. He wasn't, even though he tried to be. He was a human being. And he didn't die a Turk, even though he committed every sin you ever forced upon him. He died a good man. And you can't take that away from him."

    "What are you trying to say, Reeve?" Rufus turned to him.

    "I'm saying I don't want him buried with the other Turks. I want him buried away from here." He held his tongue there, as he could feel the rage building within him. Destroy Shinra, Reeve. He wants you to. He did so much to help you. Don't let him down.

    It was that exact moment that it hit him. It hit him so suddenly he thought his knees would collapse. Tseng let himself die because he was loyal. He was loyal and he couldn't stop himself from being that way. That's why he let himself die. Shinra was left with one less undying supporter. But still, it wasn't worth it.

    "Do what you wish," Rufus answered in the same cold tone. "Just do it quickly."

    "Yes, sir." Reeve hung his head, voice shaking. How much more will I have to lose before all this madness is over. His home. His family. And now, Tseng. How much more would he have to sacrifice?

    As Reno led him out the door, Reeve wasn't sure if he wanted an answer to that question.

    Reno, Rude, Elena and Reeve were standing around in a semi-circle, just staring at the cold stone that marked the passing of their friend. None of them ever thought Tseng would die. They never thought they would have to be in this moment.

    "I'll miss him," Rude said simply. He looked from Reno to the tombstone again. "I'll miss him a lot."

    "Yeah, me too." Reno's eyes were glued to the stone with a hard, angry sort of look. "Can't tell ya how many times he saved my ass."

    "I loved him," Elena whispered. "I really did."

    Yes. I loved him too. Much more than even I could ever understand. Reeve's eyes were fixated on the name, his ring held so tightly in his hand that he might crush it. 'I'll see you when this is all over'. Those were the last words he had ever heard his friend speak. Yes, Tseng. I will see you. I will see you when this life is over, whenever that may be. Shutting his eyes, he sighed inwardly. Ah...Tseng... I would have rather suffered at Shinra for a million years than to have you leave me like this. You didn't know that. All you thought I cared about was destroying the company. I can't believe you went and did this for me. But what's done is done. I'll never stop crying. But I won't let your death be in vain. No. That is all I can promise you.

    Elena began weeping quietly, dabbing at her eyes.

    "Elena," Reno said absently, eyes not leaving the headstone. "We're Turks. Don't cry."

    She nodded and dried her tears.

    "Fuck the Turks." Reeve turned to face the trio. They turned to him in shock. "Fuck them. A man just died. I don't care what the hell you were taught. For once forget you're Turks, and just be human beings."

    "Reeve..." Rude's voice was shocked. "I'm sorry, man."

    That was when Reeve finally lost it. The tears burned in his eyes, blinding him as he tried to hold them back. Suddenly he couldn't talk anymore. He couldn't even stand. All he could do was cry.

    Rude caught him and held him before he could fall to the ground, and the executive held onto the bald Turk with all his strength as he cried hysterically, sparing no emotion.

    Reno was clenching his fists to tightly they were shaking. Elena was weeping again.

    "God dammit," the red head muttered. "I don't think he knew how much he meant to me."

    Elena found comfort in Reno's arms and wept quietly into his shoulder. "I never told him either."

    "No," Rude said softly, "neither did I."

    Did you ever know, Tseng? How much you meant to these four people?

    Hearing the confessions only made Reeve more forlorn, because, as much as he wished himself to be wrong, he didn't think Tseng ever did.

    He stumbled to Bria's, knowing he could find comfort in her arms. When she answered she was shocked to see him and quickly ushered him inside.

    "Reeve! You're crying! What's wrong, what happened?"

    He fell into her arms and held her as tightly as he could. "Tseng's dead. He's dead."

    "Oh my god..." She rocked him gently, holding the back of his head in her hand. "Oh my god, Reeve. I'm so sorry."

    "Oh...Bria...My best friend...he...he..."

    "Shush, Reeve...Reeve, darling, it's okay... I understand. Shush...."

    "Oh, Bria... Bria...."

    "Reeve..." She parted their bodies slowly, cupping his face in her hands and meeting his green eyes which were confused, and wet with tears. "Oh, Reeve..." Stroking his face softly she whispered, "I know you miss your friend Reeve, and nothing can ever replace him, but, if it helps... I'm here... And I love you."

    His heart flew with wings he never knew it had, and all he could do was lean down and kiss her, long and deep, holding her body tightly against hers. "Bria," he gasped as they broke away. "I love you too. With all my heart."

    "Reeve..." She whispered, brushing a finger across his lower lip. "Reeve... Take me. ...I... I want to feel you..."

    "Bria..." he moaned her name lightly, running fingers through her hair. It had been so long since he had been with a woman, and with Scarlet it had never been like this. And with Tseng... Well, he had never been inside Tseng. Ah, I wish I had been. And I wish I had told him I loved him. But you can't turn back time. "Have you done this before?" he asked gently as she led him over to the bed, already unbuttoning his shirt.

    "Yes. But never...never with someone I loved." She was concentrating on freeing him from his shirt, and declined to meet his eyes. "You?" Her voice was soft.

    "Yes, but, never with a woman I loved." The truth. Never with a woman he loved. Only with a man... "It's been awhile, he added. Please forgive me."

    Bria lifted her own shirt over her head, a slight blush creeping up on her pale cheeks. "I doesn't matter to me, Reeve. It will be beautiful, because I love you."

    He bent his neck and kissed her, never wanting to let her go...

    They went slow, savoring their time together. It was slow, passionate, and drawn out. Reeve savored every noise she made, no matter how small. As she cried his name in ecstasy he shuddered, so glad to have her in his life.

    Afterwards they lay entwined, and he leaned over her, strong arms bracing himself over her body as he kissed her, long and deep, just as he always loved it to be with her.

    "Reeve...." she moaned, pulling him down into another kiss. "Mmm...Reeve..."

    The black haired man had no words. He couldn't even manage her name. All he could do was stare back at her, panting lightly, and what he had ever done to deserve her.

    Silently she kissed his forehead, and brought his trembling body down to hers, resting his head on her chest.

    "I'm gonna cry..." he whispered, snuggling close to her and holding onto her like the lifeline she was to him. His voice was choked, and he could only manage those few words. Oh, Tseng. Why'd you have to die? And Bria.... Bria.... He cried softly into her, and she quietly stroked his hair, letting him release the deeply seeded guilt and heart wrenching pain he had collected in eighteen years short years. In that time the world had made a man--and broke him down.

    Everything is happened so fast, and my own life is flashing before my eyes as I am living it....

    "Sir? Are you all right?"

    He didn't even know where he was. My own city, a city I had lived and breathed the plans for for how many years---and I don't know where the fuck I am.

    "Huh?" Reeve looked up from where he sat, shivering against a stone wall. The control for Cait Sith was heavy in his pocket, forgotten. They didn't need Cait Sith anymore. He didn't know if they were even still alive. Even if they had gotten Hojo, the Turks--those loyal bastards--they would hunt them down and destroy them. Or else Scarlet and Heidegger would with some other life destroying machine they had hidden away in their bag of all that was evil. Reeve stared up at this woman wondering if she knew who he was, or who he had been or if he was anything at all anymore except just another bum on the street. "Yes?"

    "Would you like to come in? It's cold out here."

    She was inviting him inside? She must not know I worked for Shinra, otherwise I'm sure she wouldn't have extended this invitation to me. "Uh..." he was so shocked, simple words failed me at first. "Yes. Yes. Thank you very much, ma'am." Reeve got to his feet, brushed himself off, and followed her inside.

    "Not many times you see a Shinra executive sitting on the street, Mr. Reeve Leander."

    She shut the door, and that was about the same sound his heart made as it jumped in his chest. Every nerve seemed to freeze and Reeve thought he would die right there.

    "It's all right," she added, "your safe here. Would you like some coffee?"

    What is wrong with her? Reeve thought. She should be trying to kill me, not offering me something to drink. He wanted to ask her why. He wanted to ask her why she let him in when she knew who and what he was or were or whatever. But he couldn't. He was still frozen, and all he could reply was, "yes."

    She sat Reeve down and placed a mug in front him before seating herself. For a moment she just studied him. Then she said, "my husband works for Shinra."

    "Does he want to die," he mumbled, bent over the cup. Fuck, Tseng. I tried. You can't deny me that.

    "Or I should say *worked*", she corrected herself.

    Reeve's head snapped up. "Worked?"

    "How long have you been out there?" she asked him, looking genuinely shocked.

    Reeve racked his brain, but truly time had been going by so fast that he hadn't a clue. He asked her what day it was and his eyes widened significantly when she told him. "A day?" He whispered, "a whole....day?" The hours of my life are ticking away on the grim reaper's clock and I don't even care.

    "Shinra's finished," she said bluntly. "The company's in turmoil. All that's left is Scarlet and Heidegger, and they're too busy squabbling to do anything. Even the Turks have run off, and Hojo's dead." Even the Turks ran off.

    Reeve wondered if Tseng would, even after all that had happened. He would have, he decided firmly. We could have together.

    She actually smiled. "I never thought I would live long enough to see it, but looks like I just squeezed it in. Shinra's no more."

     And for the first time in longer than he could remember, Reeve threw back his head and laughed.

    The controller lay sprawled a few feet away from him. It was turned on, but all he heard was the low hum of the static. They didn't need him anymore than they needed Sephiroth. All he had done was lead them to Shinra, and let *them* destroy it. And as happy as he was to see Shinra defeated, it all seemed disappointing. He was disappointed that after all he had given up to the damn company and his will to destroy it had not been enough. He had not destroyed it on his own. His help had. And it was almost as if he had done nothing at all.

    "Je suis un rêveur," he muttered to himself with a sigh, glancing at the black box that had once been the key of his second grand dream. Now that too seemed too cheap. "Panne. Chaque pensée que j'ai jamais eu... It all seems pointless now. Inutile." He sighed and cast his dark green eyes down at lap. "How can anyone love such a pathetic person? I can never get my dreams to end right.........................................................Maybe..........maybe my father was right--"

    "Reeve!"

    He looked up, alert suddenly. His name had been coming from....where?

    "Reeve! Are you there! Come on, buddy, don't bail on us now! We need ya! We never would have made it this far without ya!"

    He turned. It was the remote. They're... They're talking to me? Reeve blinked in shock, frozen in place. They did need him. They wanted his help. In fact, they had valued it all along. Maybe, Reeve thought slowly, a small smile coming to his lips, maybe it doesn't matter what I think of myself... You can never be a failure. Not as long as others believe in you. Even if may father doesn't, they do. Bria does, god only knows if I will ever see my beautiful love in this lifetime. And Tseng, wherever he may be, I know he does too. Yes... Tseng... My love... We did it. The ending may have been different, but we did it. We really did. And there's still a chance. A chance for us all.

    The voice from behind the remote spoke again, growing impatient now. "Reeve! Wake up!"

    Reeve, smiled, grabbing the remote with a new found confidence. Yes, the dream was over, and the alarm that had been ringing in his head for thirty five years was finally silenced. A door had been opened, and for the first time in his life, Reeve knew he had awakened, never to fall asleep again.