Interlude III

    He smoked whenever he was nervous. This was a feeling he was becoming more and more accustomed to, especially since five years had past since this had all started. For five years he fell further into a pit of growing depression, uncertainty and constant nervousness.

    Scarlet held nothing for him anymore. True, he still spent many nights in her bed, but only to work off the stress mounted on his back. He who had once been her toy refused to act as that any longer.

    Tseng had kept his promise and not breathed a word of his feelings for his closest friend. Most of the time Reeve forgot, mostly because he was too preoccupied with living with himself. For four years now Tseng had been head of the Turks organization, training his recruits, Reno and Rude, two orphans picked off the streets of Midgar. They were eighteen now, and extraordinary Turks, even if they had rambunctious streaks. Reeve had befriended them both, but Tseng remained his closest friend in the world. Some part of him wanted to be closer. Sometimes he would call early in the morning and her Sephiroth's deep voice in the background. It hurt him some when he realized the two still wound up in bed together from time to time. But that was just another emotion he put aside.

    Reeve massaged his temples, trying to get his headache to go away. He was cranky and out of cigarettes. And this morning he was dismayed as the Mako rates were hiked up once *again*.

    "That's the second time this year," he protested, struggling against banging his fist on the table top. "I hate to admit it, sir, but you are losing the people's confidence."

    The President laughed at him. "Reeve, I fear you are still too young to understand. If we have more money the profits can benefit the people when we carry out our projects."

    "Young, sir?" He challenged. "I'm twenty-nine years old!"

    "You're young," Heidegger had snapped at him. "You've been with us only twelve years and are the youngest executive in the company. If I were you, I would trust our judgment."

    Scarlet, who used to always rush to his defense, said not a word and picked some lint off her dress.

    Reeve scowled. /Oh, and I suppose twelve years is nothing. I only built your god damn city and you ungrateful bastards. And what did you do with it? You trashed it. You warped it out of my wildest imagination and don't even have the guts to tell me about it.'/

    "The new money will benefit the army and the weapons department," the President had announced.

    Palmer piped up with a question about the space program.

    "We'll look into it," Shinra said in what was nearly disgust.

    Reeve clenched his fists until his knuckles were white. They were liars. /As much as I dislike Palmer, they lie to him just like they lie to me. Won't he ever realize it?/

    "All for the rise in Mako prices?"

    Everyone but Reeve.

    "All against?"

    Just Reeve.

    "Big surprise there," Scarlet quipped.

    "Shouldn't we consult the mayor?" The young man offered weakly in a last ditch effort. He watched sorrowfully as everyone else prepared to leave.

    "We can tell him when it's over and done with," Heidegger said with another deep chuckle. "It's not like he has any power anyway."

    Tseng had to listen to him bitch over lunch.

    "We own everything. *Everything*!" He leaned towards his friend, voice dark. "This is dangerous, Tseng. We have too much power. Doesn't it scare you?"

    The Turk was silent a moment, clearly in thought. "A little bit, perhaps."

    "A little bit!" he exclaimed in shock, "what the fuck is wrong with you?!"

    Tseng blinked in shock at his friend's crass words. "Well, Reeve, although I find the power alarming, I remind you that my life is here. They saved me from certain death. I'm grateful. I'll do anything that is asked of me."

    Reeve groaned, trying to forget the day's events. This is what the world is now. Shinra, Mako and Midgar. I created a third of that monopoly. It doesn't matter what I do now. The greatest damage....it has already been done.

    "You're such a baby," she sighed, examining her newly manicured nails.

    Reeve panted as he wiped at the blood on his chest. This had been happening far more often lately. Scarlet had always been a rough lover, but now she was just painful. As it was Reeve was over stressed. The last thing he needed was to deal with her abuse. He dealt with enough of that at work. "Maybe if you paid attention to what the fuck you were *doing*, I wouldn't come away bruised or bleeding every time!"

    Her head snapped in his direction, ice blue eyes narrowing. "If you don't like it, no one is forcing you to stay."

    He mirrored her glare. "You know what? I *don't* like it. In fact," he reached for his clothes and began dressing. "I'm sick of this shit. It's over Scarlet. Find some other toy to play with. I'm threw with you."

    "Bastard!" she screeched, throwing a pillow at his head. "I never should have wasted my time on you in the first place! Especially when I found out you're friends with that fucking fag Tseng."

    Something exploded inside of Reeve and he lost control of his anger. In a fit of rage he swooped down, picked one of Scarlet's spike heels off the ground and threw it hard at the opposite wall. "You god damn whore!" he roared. "I never want to hear you call him that again!"

    "Get out! Get the fuck out!"

    "My pleasure!" Reeve slammed the door as he left, and he didn't look back.

    Reeve nodded. "Big time. I don't ever remember being that mad. Then when she had the nerve to insult you--that's when I really lost it."

    The younger man's eyes widened. "You defended me?"

    "Would you expect any less?"

    The Turk looked away. "I'm glad you're rid of her."

    "You and I both," the older man sighed, leaning back slightly. "She only left me sore."

    "Other than that, how are you, Reeve?" Tseng sounded genuinely concerned. "You've been under a lot of stress lately. Have you been eating right? Sleeping well?"

    The older man turned to look out the window. The truth was he really hadn't been. His appetite had been poor, his sleep uneven. He had even turned to pills. "I've been fine."

    Tseng frowned and went to speak again, but a shrill alarm startled them both.

    "What's that?!" Reeve and Tseng were on their feet in moments. "Tseng, what's that?"

    The color from the Turk's face had drained. "That's the bomb alarm. There must be a bomb in the building."

    "A bomb?!" Reeve yelled, trying to be heard over the alarm. "A terrorist bomb?!"

    "Under the desk," Tseng said calmly. "Standard procedure."

    The two men crawled under the desk. It was a tight squeeze but they knelt side by side, shoulder to shoulder.

    "Is it a drill?"

    "Drills are announced." The young man's voice was shaking.

    "Tseng?" Reeve looked over at his friend.

    "Fuck," cursed Tseng, wiping away tears. "I'm such a coward."

    Reeve was scared too, but he hid it perfectly. "Everything will be fine. Just fine." If this all blows up and goes to hell, I won't be the least bit sorry.

    The alarm continued and Tseng continued weeping.

    "Tseng!" Reeve couldn't even look at him for fear he would lose it too. He was already shaking and the hysterics were only making it worse.

    "I'm going to die. I'm going to die and all I ever did was kill for a living!" He hung his head.

    The older man slid an arm over Tseng's shoulders. "We're not going to die," Reeve said. Only he wasn't sure.

    Tseng covered his face as he cried. "The flames! Oh god, just don't let me see the flames!"

    He's thinking about the fire....about he lost his family. I have to calm him somehow. "Tseng! Tseng!" he ordered, shaking the other man's shoulders. "Tseng, look at me!"

    He did, eyes red and wet. "Reeve, just don't forget I---"

    The young man was cut off as his lips were seized by Reeve's in a forceful but passionate kiss. The Turk moaned in surprise but happily returned it, shutting out the world around them as his eyes closed.

    Reeve's mind was blank. He kissed his friend insistently, eyes squeezed shut. He had thought of this as only a way to calm down his hysterical friend, but now it seemed so right, as though he always wanted to do this....

    Their tongues slipped past one another, stroking one another. The alarm's were blaring around them, but both men had forgotten all their worries and fears as they continued their kiss.

    And it might have gone on indefinitely had the alarms not suddenly ceased.

    Reeve broke away and turned his head, mind at war. What the hell was I thinking?

    "Attention employees." The President's voice could be heard over the loudspeaker. "We received word of a terrorist bomb in the building, but it was only a false alarm. I offer my apologizes." The connection was terminated.

    The two friends climbed back to their feet, brushing off their suits.

    An awkward silence passed between them and Reeve refused to make eye contact.

    "Reeve," Tseng began. "I--"

    "Look," Reeve snapped, eyes flashing. "I only did it to calm you down. You were hysterical. It was for your own good."

    Tseng began, "I never said----"

    "I'd never kiss another man," he continued firmly. "Not in a million years."

    "You don't have to make a big deal about it."

    "I'm straight!" he yelled, trying to convince himself more than anyone else. "Everybody knows that!"

    Tseng looked shocked and hurt. "I know that, Reeve. No one said you weren't."

    Reeve turned away, clenching his fists. "Look, I don't want to see you for awhile." His voice soften considerably.

    "All right, Reeve," the Turk answered gently, leaving the office. He paused at the door to whisper, "thank you" before stepping out.

    Once he was alone, Reeve was overwhelmed with fear. Why did I enjoy that kiss so much? And why was there a terrorist bomb in the building?

    The dark realization set in as he sunk into his chair. A terrorist bomb can only mean one thing: the people hate Shinra. They are unhappy under Shinra, and they are unhappy in Midgar.

    Shinra's evil, he realized slowly. "Evil," he whispered, the word sounding foreign to him. "We're terrible people. All of us. We're ruining the lives of others for financial gain. We don't care. We don't give a fuck about anyone but ourselves." He put a hand to his head, still terribly shaken by his discovery. "I....I'm one of them. I'm one of the terrible people too."

    The door opened without a knock and his head jerked in that direction. "Scarlet?"

    She shut the door and locked it. "Reeve, I think we need to talk."

    "I have no desire to talk to you," he said coldly.

    "If you wish to keep your job, I suggest you don't reject me." Her eyes narrowed.

    He froze. "What the hell does that mean?"

    She came to him, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Heidegger tried to get your fired once...it was several years ago. He said you tried to attack him." She met his eyes. "It was my input that saved your job."

    "So? That was years ago. What do you want now?"

    She loosened his tie and said, "one last hurrah as a thank you."

    "You horny bitch." He pressed his lips together. "And if I don't?"

    "You're history."

    He swallowed, sweat forming on the back of his neck. He wanted so badly to push her away, tell to to go screw herself and go home to Kalm. But for some reason, as much as he did not want her, he felt he couldn't say no. That maybe, as long as his family was safe and he had them to lean on... If only to prove he hadn't made a mistake...

    No. He couldn't let his father be right. "After this, I never want you to come to me like this again."

    She kissed him. "Very well."

    Reeve hated to admit he would have rather been kissing Tseng.

    But it wasn't just the remnants of Scarlet he was trying to wash down the drain. It was the guilt that had settled on his body like a coat of grime. But no matter how much he scrubbed, he simply wouldn't come clean.

    Reeve stumbled out of the shower, a bit dizzy from the steam. The PHS was ringing and he hoped it wasn't Tseng.

    "Hello?"

    "I hope you're still proud of yourself."

    Reeve furrowed his brow. "Who is this?"

    "I'm  not surprised you don't remember your own father's voice."

    He nearly dropped the PHS in shock. "Father?"

    "I thought you should know. We can't stay in Kalm any more, Reeve."

    His heart ceased beating and he felt his stomach clench. His response was practically a whisper. "Why?"

    There was a hesitation on the other end, as if he didn't want to break the news. "....the planet is dying, Reeve. Midgar is killing it. It has made the land desolate."

    "It has not!" Reeve defended himself like a little kid would.

    "--and everyone is fleeing Kalm to move elsewhere."

    Reeve swayed, feeling even more dizzy than he previously had. He gripped a nearby chair and hung on for life. "No!" he cried, hoping it was all just one big joke. This couldn't be happening to him. This was everything he had seen in his most terrifying nightmare.

    "There's no more business to be done, Reeve. We're selling the store..."

    "NO!" Reeve cried out in a fit of rage. He was angry, angry at his father for moving and angry at himself for constructing the cause of it. "You can't, dad! That store has been in our family for ages!"

    ".........................."

    "DAD!!!" he pleaded, tears welling up in his eyes. "You can't! Don't sell the store, please! I'll fix it! I'll make it better! I promise!"

    "It's too late, Reeve." His father's voice was a cold as always, purged of emotion. "You've killed our legacy with your childish dreams. I hope you're still proud."

    Tears began rolling from his eyes, flowing briskly over his damp skin. "Father.... I'm so sorry... I never thought--"

    "Sorry doesn't cut it, Reeve." His father's voice snapped. "You've disgraced our family with your creation. And what's worse, what's *so* much worse is that you gave it your mother's name. She gave you life, Reeve, and you attached it to something that brings so many people suffering."

    The stream of tears was never ending as he hid the sobs from his voice. "I didn't know....I didn't know..."

    "You're not my son." Each word was a punch in the stomach. "So enjoy this life you dreamed of. You've disowned your family so enjoy it on your own."

    "I didn't mean it..." the sobs over took his voice, and he sunk to the floor. "I don't want this to happen..." he choked on his own tears. "Father....please...I love you....please..."

    "Good-bye."

    The dial tone was all that was left of his father.

    He disowned me.... The tears kept rushing down his face. My family... They're gone... And all I ever wanted to do was make them proud.

    Even though he hadn't eaten anything all day, Reeve somehow managed to vomit.

    His mind was blank. Reeve stared down from his office window onto the city he had created. He was the one who dreamed the one who had overseen it's construction, but now there was nothing more for him to do but watch it all crumble, watch it eat away the planet and destroy lives. His one dream had done nothing but bring others pain. The poor people of the slums who struggled in the darkness to live another day, and the innocent citizens of Kalm, his own town, who had their lives shattered by the presence of this virus called Midgar. But they were not the only one's suffering. Everyone suffered under Shinra and Reeve was suffering because he was the one who had started it all. All the misery had come from him and his dream of steel, concrete and Mako.

    "...We can't stay in Kalm any more, Reeve."

      "Why?"

    "....the planet is dying, Reeve. Midgar is killing it. It has made the land desolate."

    "It has not!"

    "--and everyone is fleeing Kalm to move elsewhere."

    "No!"

    "There's no more business to be done, Reeve. We're selling the store..."

    Reeve got the same sinking feeling as he had the first time he heard those words. Over and over he replayed them in his mind, futilely trying to convince himself it wasn't his fault. But it was. As he glanced out into never ending night, with the blinding spotlights flashing back and forth the only light, Reeve nearly died as he realized this had never been a dream. It had always been destined to become a nightmare, and no matter how hard he tried to ignore it, there was no escape. None. He should have never dreamed of more than that tiny materia shop in Kalm. Never.

    His knees grew weak and he gripped the window will, glancing down to stop his own tears.

    Scarlet's words rang through his head: "If you wish to keep your job, I suggest you don't reject me." To think he had sunk so low for so long. And for this. For this feeling that he was better off dead. For this feeling that nobody cared. For this feeling of entrapment. Too many horrible sensations swept through his veins and Reeve's hand shook, trying to keep himself on his feet. He lost, and sank to his knees, cheek against the cool wall as he cried. His family had given up all they had and moved because of him. He had spent years in the bed of woman he despised to achieve the distinction of being the true cause of planet wide destruction. If only Midgar had never been built.... Then maybe someone would still love him. Oh mother....do you hate me? Look what I have attached your beautiful name to. Reeve kneeled against the wall, letting out all the pain in hysterical tears. There was nothing but loneliness for a man who destroyed so much.

    He was so wrapped up in a web of his own self pity that Reeve did not notice the door open.

    "Reeve?" Tseng was shocked. The door slammed shut. "Reeve!" the Turk was at his side instantly. "Reeve, what's the matter?! Why are you crying?!"

    "I'm so sorry...." Reeve leaned into his friend's arms, and Tseng took him close, cradling the sobbing man like one would a baby. "Tseng," the older man choked out behind his tears, "I've destroyed everything."

    "What?"

    "This is it," Reeve continued, "there's no one left. I *built* this city, Tseng. It was my dream...but it became everyone else's nightmare, even mine." He paused a moment, then continued behind more sobs, "I'm so alone...."

    Tseng brushed some hair away from his friend's eyes, red with crying. "No, Reeve. That's not true." He leaned closer. "I'm here....and I love you."

    Reeve bent his head back and let Tseng kiss him.

    It was a quick brush of the lips, but it was enough to send a wave of electricity through Reeve's trembling body. The fact that it was another man didn't bother him the least. In his state, he was so forlorn and so lonely and most of all so guilt ridden. Tseng's words suddenly made his life worth living again.

    "Tseng...." he breathed, quickly closing his eyes and graciously receiving another sweet kiss. "Thank you."

    "Don't ever let yourself get this way, Reeve," said the Turk firmly. "You don't hold all the blame. It's everyone who works for this company. We are responsible for the suffering that occurs as a result of our actions. You may have built this city, but it wasn't your idea to construct it in the first place." He rained a few kisses over his forehead. "You're not evil, Reeve. No more than I am. I love you so much..."

    Reeve knew he was right. It wasn't just him, but he still couldn't ignore the pangs of guilt all together. He never would be able to. "Maybe....maybe I should quit...."

    "No," Tseng replied. "If you quit Shinra you'll never find another job. They control...everything."

    Reeve sighed. He just couldn't win. He needed to make a living no matter the price it took on his conscience. Besides, it was just as though Tseng had once said. He was the only one looking out for the people in Midgar. He couldn't let them down more than he had already. "Tseng...you disapprove of Shinra?"

    There was a moment of silence before the Turk finally replied, "Reeve, I took two vows when I became a Turk. One was a vow of loyalty, the other a vow of silence. I've done many things I'm not proud of, but I haven't got a choice. I signed my life and soul away to Shinra. It was the price I paid to live again. I'm trapped. We all are."

    Reeve drew a shaky breath. "Tseng? Can you do me a favor?"

    "Anything for you, my love." He smiled slightly.

    The older man hesitated. "....Will you stay with me tonight?...and hold me please? I need to know there's someone who cares. Someone like me."

    Tseng held Reeve closer. "Shinra may have my soul, my mind and my sense of decency even, but it will never have my heart." He paused. "I give that to you to hold for me, Reeve. You have to protect it. Sometimes it will seem as though I don't have one. And you must remember that it is always with you."

    "Yes," Reeve agreed, cuddling as close as possible to his friend. "This company has everything....except what matters most."

    The Turk gently caressed the older man's cheek, wiping away his tears. "I'll hold you, Reeve. Gladly. As long as you want me to."

    Reeve reached up, running a hand through his friend's long black silky hair, letting it run through his fingers like water. "Yes. Please. Don't let me go."

    Tseng shook his head, gazing into Reeve's dark green eyes. "Iie. Kesshite."