It would be so easy.

    Ever since their return from Midgar Reno had been quiet, and tried to isolate himself best he could from Rude. And although the other man tried the bets he could with Reno's moody and depressive attitude, his fuse was growing weary. Trying to get Reno to come out of his shell was like trying to pull an elephant through a mouse hole. Impossible.

    And Reno couldn't tell Rude.

    No.

    Couldn't tell him he spent ten gil on two bullets--

    For himself.

    He had had so many thoughts swimming in his head since he returned. Ever since he had seen her he had a feeling of complete emptiness. That there was no hope for happiness now that he was blacklisted. He couldn't work. He couldn't be with the ones he loved and he couldn't cry over it either. Shinra had made him incapable of showing sorrow in such a physical way. There had been no room for tears among the blood then. Now there were  no tears for him among the pain. He couldn't even be human anymore. Simple things people took for granted he couldn't have. Food, money, rights, work, family...they were out of his reach.

    And anyone without such basic things could only be one thing.

    Dead.

    Reno would soon take care of that.

    There he sat, subconsciously turning the gun in his hands. True, it had never been his weapon of choice, but it was always there when he needed something of fall back on. And now he needed to fall.

    The gun finally came to rest in his left hand, and he held it up at eye level, admiring the glistening metal for a moment. My escape. With a tired sigh he took it in a firm grip, finger on the trigger. If I'm going to feel dead, I might as well *be* dead. He lifted the fire arm.

    The sound of a door being thrown open startled him and he jumped, the gun sliding out of his grip and clattering to the ground. Reno hissed a curse, then shifted his eyes to the ground, embarrassed at being caught.

    Rude was a statue in the doorway a moment. He finally came back to life and a furious expression clouded his face over as he pressed his lips together and strode over to Reno, bending to retrieve the fallen firearm. Silently he opened it, and the two shiny, gold bullets slipped into his hand, gleaming when he sun hit their polished surface. A terrible silence followed. With each moment that went by, Reno felt the anger within him boil. What was Rude waiting for? Why wasn't he yelling and lecturing? He wanted to get it over with. His voice was lifeless. "What?"

    "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" Rude exploded, his hand connecting hard with Reno's cheek.

    The red head put a hand to his face, mouth hanging open. "Rude, you--"

    "What happened to you, Reno?" Rude snapped, an edge to his voice the red head had never heard. "You used to be so full of life. Now you can't stand to live another second."

    "I'm dead," Reno said quietly. "My soul....my will to live...it gone."

    "Whatever happened to the friend I once knew?" Rude demanded, voice shaking. "The one who always said life was too short to waste?"

    "I was right all along," Reno replied evenly, still avoiding eye contact with the other man. "Life *is* short. I'm 25, and my life's already destroyed. Every ounce of life I spent. Spent on cheap booze and sex." He scoffed at himself. "What a waste."

    "I won't let you do this!" the other man declared, waving the bullets in disgust. "I won't let you be so weak!"

    Reno watched in horror as his friend threw the small pellets out the window. "No! Rude!" He leapt to his feet, eyes flashing. "I hate you!"

    The bald man put a hand to his face, and that's when Reno realized his friend was crying.

    "Rude?" the red head was shocked. "Why are you--"

    "I never had anyone in his world, Reno," he explained, "you're the only friend I've got."

    "I...." Reno stuttered, "I don't..."

    "Promise me you won't do this anymore, Reno. To yourself or to me." He paused to clear his eyes. "We're Turks, Reno. And we don't stop till the job's done."

    "I promise." With his word as his contract, Reno embraced his old friend. Rude broke down and cried.

    And even now, strangely at peace, Reno couldn't squeeze a tear.

                                                                                            End of Part 5